One of the ‘truths’ I have realised is that whenever I am afraid of doing something or trying something new I procrastinate. I’m quite sure I’m not unique in this.
I’ve struggled to overcome procrastination by berating myself: “Just get on and do it.” Or: “You are so stupid.” Or: “You know it’s better to get things done before the deadline.” But no mental berating or begging moves me past my inertia. However recently I have made the connection between procrastination and fear. When I am procrastinating I am feeling fear.
I’ve struggled to overcome procrastination by berating myself: “Just get on and do it.” Or: “You are so stupid.” Or: “You know it’s better to get things done before the deadline.” But no mental berating or begging moves me past my inertia. However recently I have made the connection between procrastination and fear. When I am procrastinating I am feeling fear.
The fear can come from something as simple as learning how to master the process of linking my cell phone to my email. I’ve tried but it hasn’t worked. So what is there to fear? Actually I have to get around my fear of appearing stupid. Even admitting in public that I haven’t mastered the process gave me a twinge of fear. I imagined that I would have all these people chortling into their cereal and feeling superior.
So what stops me conquering something apparently so simple by asking for help? Well it’s more that I will feel an idiot, and I’m my worst critic. What I have tried to do, especially since the launch of eBrainz, is try and rationally uncover the real fear behind my procrastination.
First I have to recognise the little thoughts that indicate Procrastination is standing between me and success:
- “You can do it tomorrow.”
- “I’m too busy today/this week/this month.”
- “I haven’t done enough research.”
- “I’ll have to learn to (fill in the blank) first.”
Then I look at the fear(s) behind Procrastination and uncover:
- “They’ll think you’re an idiot.”
- “You’ll make a mistake.”
- “People will get angry with you for saying that.”
- “Someone might criticise you.”
That last one is a BIGGIE. The fact is, I cannot write or publish anything that everyone will agree with. Period. The expectation that I could is pure ego-driven, the stuff of fantasy. But does my ego or inner voice believe that? Nah! Why should it? On occasions I have acted like an idiot, made mistakes, had people get angry with me, and have often been criticised. Ego tries to protect me from all those states of being because they cause me pain.
In New Zealand we have what we call: “The Tall Poppy Syndrome” – when clever people are denigrated for trying and plain worn down by the predictors of disaster. We have so many disparaging things that trip off the tongue. “Too big for his/her boots”, comes to mind from my childhood. “Everyone who has tried that has failed.” “Do you know how many businesses fail?”
The problem arises when ego uses that personal experience to mount a fear campaign to stop me trying anything new. Recently I have started to recognise these fear campaigns and stop them in their tracks – at the first little murmur of my inner voice saying: “You don’t have to do it now” there is another thought following fast on its heels: “Do it now.”
Natural caution is healthy, but when fear holds you back from trying something you want to do it’s time to examine those fears and the beliefs from which they arise.
Best regards - Heather
Happy course creation
From the Team at eBrainz
Phone 64-3-525-7073
Phone 64-3-337-0234
